Friday, June 13, 2014

Westboro Baptist Church Tries To Spin The Panzerfaust Pissing Incident In Their Favor, Fails

In response to my story of the infamous Panzerfaust pissing incident that recently occurred at the Westboro Baptist Church, I received the following tweet from their house of ill-repute, attempting to try and turn the tables on our perception of the incident (something many Christians fancy themselves the experts at) and spin it to somehow work in their favor:


As Chief Grady put it in the movie Super Troopers... "Desperation is a stinky cologne."



These people are either so idiotic or so gullible (ah, gullibility, yet another trait these extremists share) that they truly think a picture clearly depicting four men pissing on a homophobic sign could mean or symbolize anything other than the rest of the world's collective feelings toward the delusional church. Join me in a laugh, won't you? HA!

They try to depict the boys of Panzerfaust as cowards or nothing more than young misguided hooligans doing the dirty work of Satan whilst he (and indeed, the entire WBC) are trapped in Imaginationland, never to be freed or see the light of day through sane eyes.

To that I say that they were smart in leaving when they had been noticed, as Freddy Junior and his ilk get a boner whenever there's a chance they could misapply legal action towards those who disagree with them. Frankly it was already quite clear they weren't doing this for the picture... they did it so that they could say in honesty that they represented the metal community well by taking advantage of a "golden" opportunity when it arose. There was no need to stay and satiate the church's lustful need for drama and conflict - pissing on their ignorance-stained lawn was just enough to get their point and all of our feelings across.

Also, in an attempt to put to rest your delusional evaluation of the matter, WBC, do not kid yourself into believing that anyone, Christian or Pagan or Atheist, will interpret this picture as anything other than an exceedingly accurate illustration and symbolization of how ALL OF US feel about your filth-laden church, its insipid congregation, your mentally detatched leader, your misguided morals, your willful ignorance, your cruelty, your practices of hate and intolerance behind the guise of "religion", and your hostile closed-mindedness.

If all that wasn't enough, even the dimmest of us know that not all publicity is good publicity. Your sheer belief in that alone proves how disgusting you are inside, down to the darkest depths of your souls.

My advice to every single lost soul that has somehow been ensared by the Westboro Baptist Church - they're not fooling anybody. You are not fooling anybody. You only fool yourself if you honestly believe that a higher being or "God" in whatever form you see Him/Her/It would honestly concern himself/herself/itself with the mundane, petty and meaningless labels that we ourselves have created. If you believe that anything that brings happiness to someone and harm to none is evil, the life you are destined to lead will be rife with misery, loneliness, and sorrow. An open mind and open heart will set you free.

Oh, and the reason no larger news outlets will likely cover your response is because you don't deserve the attention. Consider this my final word on the matter and the WBC.

Goddamn it. Where the hell is Varg when you need him?

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