Monday, June 9, 2014

Metal Band Pisses on Westboro Baptist Church

Panzerfaust pissing on the Westboro Baptist Church (photo: Loudwire)The band Panzerfaust (who I had never heard of before today but will definitely be looking into after this) apparently took a nice, long piss all over the ideological idiots of Westboro Baptist Church.

Well, not exactly them as in the fucksticks that make up the protesters, or congregation, or pew-fillers or whatever Christians call themselves these days. No... they made a pilgrimage to the region of the church itself and found themselves "within pissing distance" of its pathetic, hate-filled walls and did what any good metalhead would do - pissed all over it.

Here's what awesome guy Kaizer, guitarist/vocalist of Panzerfaust, had to say of the impromptu event:

Hours in to our drive to Denver in the sauna we call a van, sweating like pedophiles at recess we were when our good friend Chris Green gave us a call. He informed us that we just so happened to be within pissing proximity of everybody’s most beloved institution of all the fruits God has to bear, namely, The Westboro Baptist Church. Checking the map, we were only 20 miles past the psych ward. Needless to say, the tires screeched and we turned the Panzerkampfwagen back around and headed for the pissing grounds. Upon our arrival, we found someone so sweet as to capture this harmonious moment for us. It was on all counts civil service… Of a kind.”

And here I was thinking we were going to a big gay, God-hating orgy.

The only thing better about what they did are the eloquent words with which he described the unfolding of events. Brilliant!

Chances are you've probably heard of this criminally insane congregation known (and hated) nationwide as the Westboro Baptist Church who's founder recently returned to Jesus in their wonderful imaginary land of honeysuckles and dewdrops above the clouds.

They've managed to piss off almost everyone, but their offenses towards the metal community stem from two major incidents; when they picketed a Foo Fighters concert in 2011, and more recently their decision to protest at the funeral of Slayer's Jeff Hanneman. Fans in attendance undoubtedly wanted nothing more than to go beat their closed minds until they were opened, though they could not, lest they go against the wishes of surviving members after a plea requesting the walking abominations be ignored.

The boys of Panzerfaust are not the only ones to have helped serve this misguided church their comeuppance - some time ago, a Satanic temple held a "Pink Mass" - or in layman's terms, a particularly raunchy group same-sex marriage ceremony - over the grave of founder Fred Phelps' mother.

Their god has already smote their "chosen one". Perhaps once they really start cashing in on their karma, they'll abandon their foolish practices and enlighten themselves.

Then again, the pro-lifers that protested the abortion clinic in my hometown still show up to clog the streets in front of it after over twelve years... maybe, like them, they never will.

Perhaps if Panzerfaust borrowed a lesson or two from Varg in this situation, it would have been handled a bit differently:

BURZUM it up

Full article here.

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