Monday, June 16, 2014

Kendall Jenner Wears Slayer Shirt, Which Would Be Cool If She Didn't Hate Metal

Kendall Jenner is certainly a 'poser' in this scenario, but the implications for metal may yet be goodStumbled across this gem on MetalSucks - apparently one of the younger siblings of an amateur-porn-star-turned-baby-mamma, Kendall Jenner, donned a Slayer shirt during an appearance at a music video awards ceremony in Canada.

The internet, of course, reacted with a mix of "who cares", "leave the poor girl alone", and "blah blah POSER blah blah blah irrelevant bullshit".

The reality of the situation, IMO, is that there is truth to all the points people have given in response to this, and the implications are both good and bad. Let me explain why.

Firstly, I'll address the whole "who cares" scenario - it's more people than you think. They have a lot of money, and stupid people (which are a plentiful resource on this planet) worship the rich and stand in awe of their presence, silently accepting complacency without resistance and soe As someone pointed out in the comments of the article, she made the following tweet a couple of years ago (which, keep in mind, is a decade in teenager-time) that seemed to make undeniably clear her opinion on "heavy metal":

You could easily argue that yes, that was a billion years ago for someone her age, and opinions are quick to change during the adolescent period in life. In fact, there was a span of a few months in which I really got into rap. Yeah, rap. ME. Anyway, I won't judge her too harshly for this comment, since it seems it came from ignorance having not been introduced to the more talented metal bands.

We could perceive it that way... but the more neurotic of us (myself included) will still know in the back of our minds that her t-shirt choice probably had nothing to do with her to begin with, so there's a good chance that she's actually just a "poser", for lack of a better term.

Her stylist, or assistant, event coordinator or whatever ass-kissing lackey position covered the evening's wardrobe carefully selected her outfit to be able to resonate most with her fans (using the term loosely) or to start a stir about her, or possibly to gain the favor of a new demographic - in this case, metalheads.

This doesn't mean that her wearing the shirt won't do some good for Slayer, seeing as how the act of wearing it (unfortunately) gives them more exposure and will cause more bubbling tweens to take to their iPhones and look up what they're all about, so they can worship them just like OMG Kendall Jenner does.

Inadvertently, she has sent a small score of newcomers in the right direction. We can take full advantage of this, welcome them with open arms, and turn them away from the evils of the Kardashian Klan and MTV. We can fix a portion of the younger generation by putting them on the right path - the path of METAL. Let us not squander this golden opportunity for the greater good.

So, Kardashians, keep kollecting kool klothing from the best metal bands - Septicflesh, Cradle of Filth, Intronaut or Amon Amarth would be good places to start - and do your part to kreate a larger kommunity of metalheads. It's what our world is craving, and exactly what it needs to start becoming a better place.

Metal is all about breaking free of oppression, living your life with passion, embracing both the dark and the light because both are reality and will always be so. The metal community is all about standing up for what is right, taking care of their own, supporting our brother and sister musicians, and working together to make everything a little better one step at a time. What better message could we be sending to younger generations?

That's one reason why I'm really glad my kiddo gets to grow up in a loving home with a metal mommy and daddy. You can bet when we send him out into the world, the world won't ever want to send him back... because few are more open-minded, giving, kind, friendly, loyal, passionate, smart and loving than a metalhead!

The inevitable fallout will ensue, both positive and negative, but let's focus on the positives this time and hope that more empty celebrities are given metal band shirts to wear at events by their scheming managers, stylists or wardrobe coordinators. Whether they actually like them is truly irrelevant - we'll take the exposure and gladly accept all those who seek the path of righteousness; the path of metal. \m/


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