Saturday, May 17, 2014

Tim Lambesis Gives First Interview After His Arrest, Tries To Make Himself The Victim

Well, I thought we were done with this crap, but creepster Tim Lambesis just can't keep his mouth shut.

Revolver magazine posted this article a few hours ago containing excerpts on his statements "addressing the breakdown of his marriage" from an in-depth interview by AltPress, and I just have to say how abominably self-centered and hollow his attempt at an apologetic spiel really is.

Firstly, here are his own words:

“After our separation, I was only allowed to see the kids twice a week. And it had to be somewhere Meggan could sit in the distance and literally watch me watch the kids… It was frustrating to have my time with the kids limited and controlled. But I figured we’d get through it eventually. But it went on so long, by the time we had a judge make a ruling on custody, the kids viewed me as an outsider. It was like I was somebody that just visited them… Once I became like an outsider, like, this visitor, I was… They called me ‘Dad.’ But they weren’t really sure the role I was supposed to play in their lives. Not because I didn’t want to play a greater role, but because they thought that Mom took care of them and Dad was just some random guy at that point, and this was after awhile of me having this really controlled schedule. I told the social worker that was preparing us for the courts how frustrating that was, that I really needed more time with the kids, immediately. The social worker seemed to reassure me that I would get more time with them, eventually. Meggan wanted 100 percent custody. She was really honest about that. If it were up to her, I’d have nothing to do with them. She told me a few times she wished I was dead. Those are not unique thoughts for me to have. She felt those things toward me, too. Not that she would have ever taken it to the level that I did. But when she said those things, I thought, ‘She’s going to try to push me out of their lives. I need to get more time with the kids.’… When she realized I was working toward getting more custody, I think her next play was to win them over emotionally, to completely make me the outsider. Certain things started happening. One afternoon, my daughter asked my mom, ‘Why didn’t Daddy want to adopt me?’ My mom calls me over and we all start talking further. My daughter says, ‘Why do you go on tour? Is it because you don’t want to spend time with us?’ I told myself, ‘Well, these are natural questions, she’s just feeling some doubts.’ Later, that turned into, ‘Daddy goes on tour because he doesn’t want to spend time with us, and he doesn’t love us like Mommy does.’ It went from a question to a statement.”

Okay, let's start with this. He begins with "After our separation", and bitches about having his interactions with his kids "controlled".

He doesn't really make too much of a mention about why that separation came about, or what compelled their mother to take those steps with her children. Yes, there are a few cases where a mother will just do it out of spite, or for money... but Tim Lambesis wasn't exactly a millionaire, so we can rule out financial motivations, and he himself proclaimed her as having a good heart, so that (to me) suggests that she must've had a damn good reason for deeming these things necessary.

I think fearing for the safety of your kids based on undeniable evidence of the instability of your partner is a pretty good reason. He must have done something enough times to make her act in the best interests of her kids, because no sane mother I know wants to raise their child alone or have to deal with agonizing litigation proceedings against their partner/former partner willingly.

Like many people with abusive tendencies, he is attempting to paint himself as the victim, provoked by his wife (which must mean she deserved it.. *rolls eyes*), when in reality he has conceded to his own guilt.

Not only this, but he refers to himself more than anything else. That's clear proof that he hasn't really changed since this began; his primary concern in life is his own best interests. That alone is a good reason to be worried as a mother.

Onto the next paragraph, wherein aside from focusing on himself and his feelings, he tries to place the blame with his gym partner as well, to try and disarm anyone who wasn't convinced by his story of his wife being a meanie:

“This guy at my gym, my workout partner, I just expressed to him how sad I was. I asked the guy I had been buying steroids from, the steroid dealer, if we could meet. I’m talking to him in the parking lot one afternoon and I go, ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ He goes, ‘Pretty good, unless you maybe need me to kill somebody for you.’ Like that, right off the bat. I’m kind of like, ‘Whoa, what are you talking about?’ He goes, ‘Well I’ve heard you’ve been pretty frustrated with your wife…’ He just kind of had — I mean, he’s a steroid dealer. He has a sketchy background, you know what I mean? So I’m thinking, ‘Geez, where’s this guy going with this?’ He starts asking me these seemingly rhetorical questions. ‘Have you tried working things out with your lawyer?’ I said yeah, but it was going to be a couple of months before I saw the judge. ‘Have you tried taking them to a social worker? Like a counselor?’ I said yes and the social worker had met with the kids. He goes, ‘Well, you know your other option is I can hook you up with somebody that could do this.’ And he goes, ‘Can you think of a better option?’ He’s asking it like it’s a rhetorical question. I remember thinking at the time, ‘This doesn’t feel right. This doesn’t feel like my best option.’ But my thinking at that time… As much as I wished there was a better option, this is my best option. Obviously, right now, I can think of a dozen things and I understand the legal system much better. Legally speaking, there are emergency type things where you can get a judge to see you earlier, which I didn’t know. There are dozens of things I can think of now. But I just started to develop this mindset of, ‘Alright… I guess this seems like the path I’m going to have to go down.’”

This excuse is sadder than a kid drinking underage trying to justify it with, "Well, Billy made me do it". Give me a fucking break. If he even, for a moment, thought that was even an option at all, then kudos to Meggan for recognizing the signs of it and doing everything to keep her kids safe.

There's a lot more to the interview including his religious beliefs, his bandmates, blah blah blah. Honestly though, I'm sick to death of hearing him talk about himself. I just had to put that out there for what it really was.

He may fool some with his trite, manipulative, sympathy-garnering, sorry excuse for an interview, but I'm not fooled, and I'm willing to bet there are plenty of others who can see right through it, too.

Yeah, he's a person, and people make mistakes, but from what I can see he really isn't admitting to any wrongdoing. When he actually starts proving he can see beyond himself, then I'll give him credit.

Until then, I've lost what little respect I had for the guy.

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