Thursday, May 15, 2014

Five Finger Death Punch Brought 9 Year-Old Girl Onstage, Causing Whiny Whiners To Whine

On a lovely day at the Fort Rock Festival in Fort Myers, Florida, Five Finger Death Punch (yes, for the love of Pete I know it's not "trve" metal) started performing their song "Burn MF" during their set.

Mark Douglas, an average-joe metalhead and fan of FFDP, was in attendance with his 9 year-old daughter, Olivia Douglas. They were rockin' out when suddenly vocalist Ivan Moody brought the young girl onstage and sang the hook (which consisted of the lyrics "burn motherfucker burn motherfucker burn") as the girl jammed to the music looking adorably engrossed.

It's one of the cutest things you'll see today, in my opinion!

But of course, some fucking uptight little weasels immediately began to bunch their panties and cry foul, claiming the girl was "being used as a prop" - and even accusing her father of being guilty of "abuse".

I'm sorry, what?!

An undoubtedly unpleasant and miserable human being/lawyer that goes by the name of Miguel Fernandez said of this adorable event:

"It’s a form of abuse... This child is being used as a prop."

However, Olivia's father (and pretty much everyone else) agrees that this was harmless fun and indeed a happy memory for them both.

He said of his daughter:

"She goes to a church every Thursday and takes piano lessons. She’s a normal kid... just loves metal. It’s in my blood. Evidently it’ll drip down into her blood."

While he might not know that FFDP is actually not really metal (though they've still come out with some good stuff, don't get me wrong here), it's clear that he's got a good head on his shoulders, loves his daughter, and is raising her well with good morals and ethics. He says she is even well aware that she shouldn't curse in polite conversation.

Please enlighten me... where the fuck is the abuse here?

Even promoter Danny Wimmer sided with the family, saying:

"While we may not always personally agreee with the actions of particular artists performing at our festivals, we support free speech and artistic integrity."

Curse words have lost their sting in society and are used often everywhere. I'd be very surprised if a 7 year-old kid didn't know what all the swears are, though maybe not what they mean. It's far, far better to arm your kids with the knowledge of what the words are, how some people react to them, and make sure they know when it is and is not okay to use them. If you take the mystery away from something and they will be less interested in it altogether.

Not only is the swearing a non-issue with me, but the fact that this father and daughter are sharing such a special moment together and the happiness on their faces should be enough to convince people that no harm was being done - quite the contrary.

Unfortunately, even a few musicians have sided with the scumbag lawyer, including this guy:

Ugh. He probably doesn't have kids.

Swearing will not make you a serial killer, a delinquent, or a future prostitute. All it'll do is make you a potty mouth.

And honestly, with all the swearing that's done and implied on TV, in books, and in public places these days - who really cares?

Maybe we should adopt a lesson from Spongebob and just start referring to them as "sentence enhancers".

1 comment:

  1. I saw the clip and don't think she looked "engrossed" but she looks like she is smiling (maybe my eyes are horrible). I think it's up to the parents to say what they want to expose their kids to, be it putting them on stage or exposing them to foul language, etc. If the dad is OK with it, she's about old enough to be going to shows (with supervision of course) IMO. Hell if I was brought on stage by one of my favourite bands I would probably be pumped about it!

    I know Ripper has kids and he can raise them how he wants (I am pretty sure he cursed on stage, but I'd have to dig thru memories), but I wouldn't think he'd be against this.

    That being said, I don't think that's an appropriate song to have kids on stage for.


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