Monday, April 7, 2014

Crowdfunders of Tim Lambesis' Project Austrian Death Machine Complain They've Been Had, Charity That Was Promised Record's Proceeds Never Heard From The Band

The side project of infamous fuckstick Tim Lambesis, Austrian Death Machine, has come under fire today. Surprise, surprise.

Fans who had donated money to see the album got made took to the band's Facebook page, crying foul and left wondering what the hell had happened to the merch they were promised.

To make matters worse, the band had announced it would donate a portion of the proceeds to a charity. Only, it's a charity that's never, ever been contacted by ADM or their agents.

The band's label, Artery Recordings (and presumably the guy who is taking all the rap for this judging by the passive-aggressive tone this thing takes), had this to say:

"We came into the picture a few months back licensing the record with Tim and we have been also helping with making sure the kids all got their packages. Every person who contributed either got mailed a package that included download links or have been notified there are a few things still coming. The only people that have not been sent packages are people that were suppose to get USB sticks and or the Vinyl packages. These items are still in production. Also if the people input the wrong mailing address and or email address of course their packages aren't their yet. People on indiegogo can also contact Tim's team there if there are still any issues with not getting their packages and we are doing are best to track it. Our friends are MerchNow have printed and mailed the packages for us and if I really have to post a ton of tracking numbers online to prove Artery helped get these kids their packages i will. Myself and the company I work for have always done legit business and have always done the right thing. We have a pretty solid track history as many can agree with.

"Also to address the matters of Tim's royalties going to charity. The World Vision charity is the charity Tim chose for the money to go to. Seeing that is it only 5 days after the release of the album i haven't received any money from sales yet. When we do statements the charity will be receiving a check in the mail from the team and everything will be done as we said it would. Why would i contact a charity before we had money to give them?

"People also ask why we got involved with licensing the record. Tim has been a friend for a long time. The opportunity to help release this record and get people their campaign packages was something i wanted to do. Tim stated he wanted to give his money from the sales of the record to charity and i see that being a very awesome thing. This is why I got involved.

"For those of you who haven't gotten your indiegogo packages can submit on the page and Tim's team will help you out."

Is it just me, or do envision the guy who wrote this as being some pissed-off looking fellow who's had his ears freshly chewed out over his iPhone by either Lambesis or his ADM bandmates (who, for all we know, might be dicks too) and after being sat down by his boss at Artery, slumping with a sulk in front of his computer, types out an apology email for someone else's fuck-up while wondering how the fuck he got stuck with the blame for all this baloney. Because that's pretty much the vibe I'm getting.

So, in summation: Tim Lambesis = douchebag. Nothing new to see here, folks...

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